At their very best, Simon Goodwin’s Demons would fight hand to hand, square metre by square metre. Their midfielders were like snorting bulls. Their ruckman was peerless. Their key defenders would patrol and gobble, deny and thwart. In just under an hour, it all came together in a flawless, torrential, still scarcely believable flood of goals.
At their very worst, Goodwin’s Demons were rigid, predictable, boring. They would blast and hope. They’d win the inside 50s and contested possession count and lose the match. While the rest of us stifled yawns, Goodwin would shrug his shoulders, shuffle his papers and talk about “learnings” and “contest and defence” and “honest conversations”. A week later, they’d be losing the same way and he’d be saying the same things.
But the very worst of what was happening had nothing to with the gameplan or the forward connection. It was the club itself. It was the way they were constantly having to douse fires. It was the teammates brawling outside restaurants. It was the investigative reporters looking for dirt. It was the independent politicians potting them under parliamentary privilege. It was the allegations of drug use. It was the shoddy messaging. It was the leaks. It was the leadership vacuum.
Last summer, they were desperate for a clean slate. They thrashed it all out at the foot of Melbourne’s snowfields. There was talk of “trauma”, of “cleansing” and lots of tears, hugs and vows to start anew. They locked down a new theme for the year – Love. Play. Celebrate. Forgive my cynicism, but it sounded like the intersection of LinkedIn and a MAFS dinner party.
They promptly went and lost their first five games. “It’ll turn,” Goodwin insisted. And they played some excellent football, beating Brisbane at the Gabba, smashing Sydney and running Collingwood and Adelaide close. But then they encountered Nasiah Wanganeen-Milera. As the St Kilda star played one of the great individual quarters, Melbourne’s leaders, on the field and on the bench, looked like they didn’t know what day it was.
Everything always seemed so laboured at Melbourne. Everything – from the way they’d win the ball, to the way they’d move it, to the way they’d explain themselves afterwards – seemed like hard work. And with the chair on holiday and the CEO yet to start his role, so much of the burden fell on Max Gawn. After each loss, he’d gather his team, peer down on them and nod towards the race. Sometimes he’d cop the abuse from the performative clowns filming their own rants. He had to then stick up for the coach, the gameplan, his wayward teammates. He had to be president, CEO, champion player, diffuser and marketer. He then had to go on radio with the likes of Marty Sheargold and gently flick him down to fine leg.
Ten weeks after their premiership, in the first week of summer, the Melbourne faithful gathered at the MCG. It wasn’t like the drunken euphoria at the Whitten Oval in 2016, or the bonnet-hopping mayhem on Swan Street the following year. It was clearer, more sober. It had sunk in by now. They watched the replay and started cheering four or five seconds before each goal. This time, the coach wasn’t bumped off stage by the mayor of Perth. Goodwin stressed the importance of capitalising on their talent, their youth, and of winning a flag at the MCG in front of their fans.
But they never got there. This was a distracted, scrambling club. They paid big bucks for Brodie Grundy, who ended up adrift in the system, playing in mini typhoons out at Casey Fields. They lost four finals by a total of 40 points. Against Collingwood in 2023, they had 32 more inside 50s. But they shot themselves in the foot with dinky little nine iron lobs, shanks out on the full, forwards barrelling into one another. A week later, they had 10 more scoring shots than Carlton. They had a goal annulled. Their last five shots on goal were behinds. And they frittered away so many others.
None of this should detract from what Goodwin achieved in 2021, and what he will mean to this club for decades to come. And he deserves enormous credit for maintaining his dignity amid all the rumours, the spot fires and the chaos around him. But there will always be the nagging question of what could and should have been – if the club was stable, if its leaders could use proper sentences, if Angus Brayshaw hadn’t been knocked into retirement, if his players could kick straight, if they could convert midfield dominance into goals. Some of that was clearly beyond his control. But too often it was the result of unimaginative coaching, of a gameplan from another place and time, a gameplan that gradually wore his players down and ultimately marked his card.
Crunching the numbers
The nine clubs still in the race for the top eight have lost only once in 35 matches since round 14 against the teams now out of contention. Sydney’s win over Fremantle in round 17 is the outlier.
From the archives
Halfway through the third quarter of the 2021 grand final, the Western Bulldogs had kicked eight of the last nine goals and Marcus Bontempelli was playing himself into footballing folklore. “We were probably one goal away from the game slipping away,” Simon Goodwin later conceded. At a crucial stoppage on the wing, Bailey Smith had butter fingers. His pocket was picked by James Harmes, who weighted a perfect kick to Bayley Fritsch. Goal. Deep breath. Game on. The next half hour saw some of the best football ever played. In the time it takes to walk the dog, a 57-year curse had been buried. It brought to mind Arsenal’s George Graham at Anfield in 1989 – “Isn’t it lovely to have moments in your life where you think, ‘Oh, nothing can beat that. Nothing.’”
They said what?
The former Giants co-captain confirmed his retirement two months after an anterior cruciate ligament injury in his right knee ended Ward’s bid for a maiden premiership.
View from the stands (or the couch)
In the aftermath of Goodwin’s sacking, debate now inevitably turns to who fills the vacancy. “I would take the call,” former Collingwood coach Nathan Buckley told SEN on Wednesday morning. “I would have a chat but a lot would have to fall into place to leave this position of comfort I have found.”
The former coach and player has worked in the media since he left the Magpies in 2021 after 10 seasons at the helm, and he said the desire to coach is still there. “I can’t lie – when yesterday happened I knew this would all come around again.”
“I think the Melbourne prospect is quite compelling,” he added. “There’s a lot that needs to settle. Big club, storied history. Experience in the playing group is unquestioned and I like their young group of players as well. In that sense, there is a compelling case there. But there’s plenty of water to go under the bridge.”
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Footy quiz
Which club has lost the fewest games this season against sides currently sitting in the top half of the ladder?
a) Adelaide
b) Brisbane
c) Collingwood
d) Fremantle
Answers in next week’s newsletter but, if you think you know it, hit reply and let me know.
Last week’s answer: Which club has the longest winning streak against Brisbane? At the time of asking, Collingwood had won four in a row. But the Lions turned the tables on the Magpies with a 27-point victory last week.
Congratulations to Colin M, who was first to reply with the right answer.
Want more?
Melbourne made “a massive call” to sack premiership coach Simon Goodwin, Jack Snape reports. The Demons’ decision might have been ruthless, but Martin Pegan says it was the right call.
Brisbane put a horror show behind them to thrive on the big stage against Collingwood.
Sportsbet advertises multi-bets on the AFL website after pulling similar ads from TV due to “community sentiment”, Henry Belot reports.
Former AFL player Brandon Jack’s debut novel, Pissants, is not sure whether it is a critique or a celebration of toxic masculinity, Catriona Menzies-Pike writes.
Rebecca Shaw asks why AFL players hurl homophobic slurs even while people love to say that “sexuality doesn’t matter”.
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