JEFF’S COMING, YO!
You come at the Stelling you’d best not miss, as the famous quote from The Wire’s Omar Little kind of goes. Feared by his enemies and loved by viewers, the scar-faced stick-up man’s advice suggests that anyone attempting to challenge the established order should be prepared for unpleasant consequences if their plan backfires. It is a lesson Hartlepool United owner Raj Singh is currently learning the hard way after sending a letter to each of Hartlepool’s fellow National League clubs asking them to ban Jeff Stelling – the TalkSport and former Soccer Saturday host, and national treasure – from their boardrooms and hospitality suites for the season ahead. In scenes that his chum Chris Kamara would almost certainly describe as “Unbelievable, Jeff!” (unless they in some way involved an Anthony Vanden Borre red card at Fratton Park), Stelling resigned from his role as president of Hartlepool in May, in protest at Singh’s handling of negotiations over the protracted non-sale of his beloved hometown club.
Apparently still fuming over Stelling’s decision to step down from an honorary role in which he wielded the same amount of power as your average regimental goat, Singh recently embarked on a letter-writing campaign to call upon his fellow owners to deny Stelling any of the myriad lavish trappings of hospitality associated with cash-strapped non-league clubs when he travels to Hartlepool away games. Having initially made it clear that Jeff was not to be considered for any freebies specifically designated for club officials, Singh added: “In the unlikely event that Mr Stelling independently attends any Hartlepool fixture at your home ground, I’d further request that you consider to seat Mr Stelling separately to any HUFC dignitaries or staff.” And while nobody is denying Hartlepool has its dignitaries, it seems actual dignity is currently at a premium in their corridors of power.
Football Daily doesn’t claim to be familiar with the nitty-gritty of the beef, but what we can say for sure is that we hope Stelling has another one of his charity walks teed up, so that he’ll be able to march off the excess blubber he’s certain to put on after National League clubs the length and breadth of the country fall over each other to defy what looks like a petty and sly act of vindictiveness. In calling for Stelling to be denied hospitality, Hartlepool’s owner has almost certainly guaranteed that the universally popular broadcaster will be subjected to the kind of extreme levels of corporate largesse unlikely to be witnessed in the fifth tier ever again unless Manchester City end up playing in it after the verdict on those 100-plus charges is finally announced.
“I’m a lifelong supporter of that football club and if it came down to the fact that I travelled and stood with the Poolies, the Hartlepool supporters, wherever they are, then that’s fine,” a slightly baffled Jeff told his radio audience. “I’d already bought my ticket – we’re away to Yeovil on Saturday – to be with the fans, so I didn’t get the issue or why Mr Singh wanted to raise it. The other thing that I took offence to was in the statement he says in the unlikely event that I attend games independently. Well, I mean, last season I went to Aldershot, Eastleigh, Solihull, Southend, Sutton, Wealdstone, Woking, Dagenham and Redbridge, Ebbsfleet, Maidenhead and a few others as well, so, it’s not so unlikely that I’ll attend. I’ll be at Yeovil on Saturday and I’ll tell you what, I’ll say it right now – if Mr Singh is there, I’ll be happy to meet him and have a chat with him.” Meet him? If the Yeovil Town hierarchy have anything at all about them, Jeff will be sitting right beside the man he says he hasn’t seen in at least a year. It certainly sounds like it’s time for either a long overdue catch-up or 90 minutes of awkward silence.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
I’ve done one live performance which felt a bit weird – there was a live band playing the drums and I had to literally use it as an instrument, which felt crazy, but I enjoyed it. It’s all about timing …” – Fulham’s Alex Iwobi gets his chat on with Ed Aarons about how he enjoys dabbling with being a musician as a chance to breathe away from football, but is still 100% committed to the game.
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
I know Mr Francis has dumped all of your sisters but not giving him letter o’ the day for the nominative determinism belter (yesterday’s Football Daily) was just petty. Noble rot!” – Harry Piano.
Marvellous contribution, as always, from Noble Francis. I found his comments on nominative determinism doubly fascinating, as I’d always assumed his name was Francis, with Noble being an epithet, as in Teflon Tony or Stinky Pete. You really do learn something every day. (And yes, I’m fully aware that I don’t actually have to explain to Big Website readers what an epithet is …)” – Phil Taverner.
It was very sad to hear of Jorge Costa passing away, and at only 53 years old too. That’s no age at all. Unsurprisingly, all the focus will rightly be on his eight league titles, five cups, Uefa Cup and Champions League but for some of us elder members of this parish, he will always be a key part of the best named back four in what was called, at the time, the Barclaycard Premiership: ‘Young, Fish, Costa, Fortune’. RIP Jorge Costa” – Noble Francis.
Many thanks for showing a beautiful photo of the Øresund/Öresund Bridge (yesterday’s Still Wants More, full email edition) when marking the occasion of the Øresund/Öresund Strait Bigger Cup clash. I was one of 40,000 runners to make the journey to Malmö on foot in May this year, and may even be on your chosen picture (although very close to the back). What an experience” – Iain Moore.
Thanks for linking to the article about Noel Blake (yesterday’s Quote of the Day), and I wish him well. I can testify to the man’s footballing brilliance. At Exeter, December 1996, I once saw him nullify an entire Cardiff City attack by a tactic best summed up as: ‘He’s just chatting to Peter Fox in the centre circle, no hang on, he’s exactly in the right place to sort that out, and now he’s chatting to Peter again.’ The rest of the Exeter City defence were free to join in the rather random bombardment of the Cardiff end, which eventually, and rather painfully led to two goals. From my position amongst the Cardiff City Soul Crew (don’t ask) I can accurately report the Exeter goal was never threatened. I’ve never seen before or since, one defender, using such intelligence and pure class to boss a game. Mind you, I think Peter Fox nearly froze to death” – Jon Millard.
If you have any, please send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s winner of our letter o’ the day is … Jon Millard, who lands some Football Weekly merch. Terms and conditions for our competitions are here.
RECOMMENDED LISTENING
Join Max Rushden, Barry Glendenning and the Football Weekly pod squad take a dep dive into the thorny issue of football finance as the new season begins.
RECOMMENDED BOOKING
On Thursday 11 September, join Max Rushden, Barry Glendenning and a host of your other Football Weekly favourites live on stage for an evening of unfiltered football punditry at Troxy in London and livestreamed globally. Book now.
FOX (STILL) ON THE BOX
From one gameshow host in Jeff Stelling to another. Gary Lineker’s hasty departure from the BBC did not mean the end of the former Leicester and Everton striker’s TV career. To further the comparisons with Des Lynam, he’s on his way to ITV, though not to host a red-hot soccer show but to be its new Leslie Crowther. Come on down? Lineker, who doubles these days as a podcast tycoon, will not be reviving The Hitman And Her or Strike It Lucky but instead bringing his pun-laden drollery to The Box where “12 famous faces are put in boxes and given daring challenges”, a cross between “I’m A Celebrity and SAS: Who Dares Wins” that appears to be a big deal in Norway. Though so is cross-country skiing. The show seems set for a Saturday slot, though unlikely to clash with the hip, happening version of Match of the Day planned by BBC suits to replace Lineker.
NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
A record number of reports of abuse at matches in English football were made during the 2024-25 season, with complaints of sexism and misogyny driving the depressing increase, according to new data from Kick It Out.
The relegation scrap could be feisty in Serie A next season after it was confirmed that players will have their salaries slashed by 25% if their teams go down.
Russell Martin’s “love and care” approach to criticising his players has worked a treat after Rangers walloped Viktoria Plzen 3-0 in the first leg of their Bigger Cup third qualifying round tie at Ibrox.
Darwin Núñez has been given the key to the Liverpool door marked Do One and given the green light to discuss a move to Al-Hilal for a fee of about £56m.
Meanwhile, Newcastle’s Alexander Isak has been punished for going awol by – and wait for it, you’ll like this – being banned from the club barbecue. Yep! No sausages for you Alex, lad.
Son Heung-min is hoping to make a splash in LA, baby!
Who has the power? Andros Townsend, that’s who. The Steve Claridge du jour has signed for Thai club Kanchanaburi Power on a freebie. It’s his 16th club!
And the big news of the day is that Ed Sheeran has got his squad number back at Ipswich now they are back in the EFL. Premier League rules barred the club from naming the guitar-jangler as their No 17, a shirt he was given when investing 1.4% in the club in 2021, but Championship suits are more lenient.
STILL WANT MORE?
An owner, a scout, an agent and a player go into a bar speak to a team of Big Website writers to reveal just how this transfer business rolls.
Neymar’s prodigal return to Santos hasn’t gone quite as planned, as knack and bust-ups with fans continue to blot the copybook. Still, he’s added star quality, writes Tom Sanderson.
Which football teams have met in fixtures at the most different home grounds? The Knowledge knows.
Agog on the Tyne. Louise Taylor examines the absolute state of Newcastle’s summer transfer market woes.
And we have more Big Website Premier League previews hot off the production line: Brighton and Burnley.
MEMORY LANE
4 June 2012: A fan in Berlin embraces a Madame Tussauds waxwork of a very young-looking Cristiano Ronaldo before Portugal’s match against Germany at the European Championship. Let’s hope the summer heat didn’t cause it to melt.
